so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
