On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
