Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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