i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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