that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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