I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
