Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
