I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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