I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My brain says no but my pants say off.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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