I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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