What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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