For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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