Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
