Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
birth control should be required to get into college
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
