they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
