i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
