I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
