Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
