Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can't turn off my feet"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
