these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
