hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize