I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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