sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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