so that wasnt chicken after all
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
