just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
