escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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