It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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