Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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