you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
