i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
