so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
