I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My pussy is not your playground.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
