i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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