O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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