oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
