I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I looked at my own cervix.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
