feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
