he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
