I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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