the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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