Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
