I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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