Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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