The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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