things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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