Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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