I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
