There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
