Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it hurts more in the daytime
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
