I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
