you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
