Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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